Ah, Halloween, an old Earth tradition preserved by these pathetic parasites. It’s a wonderful holiday; the entire town celebrates by giving candy to anyone in costume. I leave early before the good candy is gone. By time I return only older, greedier children are still out, finding their way to Master’s base. They are fools to think I would give them anything but death, their hefty loot increasing my own. Of all those who meet their end, the ones that Master enjoys watching most are those impersonating his brother. I just adore this night, so many delicious treats, all mine!
So much for my favorite holiday, I wanted to go trick-or-treating. Not only has Master forbidden me to go out this year, but he permits the human children to come take MY candy. Of course I would never disobey him. However I’m by no means content standing here all night, handing every child in town a part of my private stash. What have I done to deserve this? More importantly, why would Master ever let these humans intrude on his property and insist they return home unharmed? Perhaps he is ill? No, that’s absolutely preposterous, Master is above such shortcomings.